Taking in good parenting tips can be essential to your growth and expansion as an ever-evolving parent.
When it comes to kids, you can never know it all and that’s the journey of being a parent, as well as being human.
Raising kids is possibly the hardest and most intense responsibility you will ever have.
This role is no walk in the park, yet it’s the most rewarding thing you’ll ever do.
I have the joy of being a mother to two incredible teenagers, as well as one very bubbly toddler—they are my greatest teachers whom I learn so much from every single day.
With my experience as a mum over the years as well as becoming a mum to a little one again later in life I felt called to share some of my top parenting tips that have really helped me.
Both parent and child are on a journey of discovery together, but it’s up to us as the parents to fully hold space with as much love, integrity and respect as possible so that we may give them that space to grow.
It’s my hope that these tips may serve you in whichever way on your path to developing a closer relationship with your kids.
10 Parenting Tips For New Mothers
Below are some beautiful pointers I wish I had been told when I first became a mum.
1. Trust Yourself
You can read all the parenting books in the world and watch numerous YouTube videos, but at the end of the day your inner knowing knows best and you have to learn how to trust your gut.
No matter how prepared I thought I was I was still never prepared enough.
Sometimes you just have to wing it and trust that you’ve got this.
2. It’s Okay To Have No Cooking Clue About What You’re Doing
Every new parent feels this way regardless of how much they may have prepared beforehand (refer to above point).
Honestly, nothing can truly prepare you for what a new baby brings.
It’s pretty mind-boggling how something so small and precious can make you feel utterly incompetent.
So just to reiterate, it’s normal to feel this way, in fact, you would be superhuman if you didn’t.
3. Get As Much Sleep As Possible
Exhaustion can be the pin that pops your new parent bliss bubble, so make sure you take every chance you get to rest and get some sleep.
I know this can seem easier said than done when you’re a new mum, but just make a plan to prioritise this so that you can ultimately be a better caregiver for your new baby.
Lack of sleep has a way of making things feel so much harder than they usually would be, so let your head hit that pillow at every possible opportunity.
Having my own business definitely allowed me to get more sleep when I had Phoebe and for this I am so grateful.
This kind of flexibility is truly priceless when you’re a parent.
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4. Be Kind To Yourself
This is not a time to be judgemental of yourself, trust that you are doing your absolute best and that that really is enough.
The more supportive and gentle you can be with yourself during this process the greater satisfaction and happiness you will experience.
5. Remember That It Will Get Easier Over Time
The first few months are the hardest, but once you find your groove things will start to flow and become more natural.
As the old adage goes, “nothing lasts forever”, so just keep reminding yourself that.
6. Don’t Compare Yourself To Other Parents
We all do things differently.
What may have worked for your sister, friend, mum or even next-door neighbour may not work for you and that’s okay!
Everyone will have an opinion on how you should do things, you can listen to these tips or ignore them completely—either is perfectly alright.
It’s also so easy to get caught in the trap of thinking other parents have it more together than you do, but the truth is you only see a snippet of the full picture.
7. Try To Keep Your Sense Of Humour In Tact
There is no such thing as perfect.
So learn to let go and have fun when you can.
Parenting doesn’t always have to be so intense, especially when you’re a new parent.
Vomit on your clothes, laugh.
Poop on your hand, laugh.
Laughter really is the best medicine and has the power to lift your spirits during more difficult times.
8. Appreciate This Time As Much As Possible
It’s easy to roll your eyes when people say this, but it’s so true!
This is a once in a lifetime experience you will only go through with this little baba (every baby will be different).
So regardless of how exhausted, you may feel, enjoy this time for what it is because it will zoom past and be over before you know it.
9. Be Flexible
You can always plan to do things a certain way and then things just don’t go that way, be flexible to this and don’t get too caught up and attached to specific outcomes.
Parenting is all about flexibility and letting go of our perpetual need to have to always control everything.
10. Accept Help
When you become new parents you can sometimes feel like you have to handle it on your own otherwise you’re not good parents who seem incapable, but really this couldn’t be farther from the truth.
Having a new baby is incredibly overwhelming and so if you’re able to have help from grandparents or any family members take it!
Even consider hiring help if your budget allows.
This will honestly be the biggest blessing for you and give you some space so you can show up fully as a parent.
Read my article on ‘How To Find Quality Home Childcare For Your Children’ here
Top 9 Parenting Tips For All Parents (New And Seasoned)
1. Be A Good Role Model
This is a big one.
Our children model everything they do off of us so it’s important that we walk the talk, not just talk the talk as they say.
It’s not enough to just tell your children what you want them to do, you have to show them.
Our children watch everything we do, they are like little sponges absorbing everything constantly.
Be the person you want your child to be—show them love and respect, be a positive influence towards them with a good attitude and always have empathy towards their emotions.
Do this and they will (hopefully) do this too.
Having a network marketing business with Forever has taught me so much about being a great role model that my kids can look up to.
Read my article on ‘Being a Role Model For Your Kids: 7 Things Network Marketing Taught Me’ here.
2. Love Them And Show Them Through Action
Similar to my point above, it’s not enough to just tell your child you love them, you have to show them too.
Never ever withhold love from a child, especially if you’re doing it in a way of trying to teach them a lesson about something.
Give them plenty of hugs (physical touch is an important love language), spend quality time with them and listen to what’s on their hearts every single day (make a concerted effort to ask them how they are doing).
I also find doing an activity specific to what each child most enjoys is a good way to bond with them.
Phoebe and I will read together, while Rosie and I will go shopping and Will and I will watch movies together.
3. Don’t Compare Siblings…Ever.
If a child thinks his or her brother or sister is favoured, it can create a rivalry that may last the rest of their lives and cause problems in your family.
Make sure your kids know that they are loved equally.
Be careful with what you say — ”why can’t you be more like your sister regarding XYZ.”
Over time this can be so damaging and doesn’t help with solidifying a strong relationship between siblings.
Each child is uniquely individual and should be treated as such, what one might be really good at does not necessarily mean the other will be good at it too and that’s completely okay.
4. Be A Safe Haven For Your Child
This is something I’ve made an effort with my kids on, making sure they know that I am always there for them no matter what.
I encourage them to share everything with me, even if they think it may upset me, I would rather know so I can support them fully.
I have promised to always hear them out first before just jumping to conclusions or getting angry.
Children raised by parents who are consistently responsive tend to have better emotional regulation development, social skills development, and mental health outcomes.
5. Make Communication a Priority
There is nothing worse than telling your child to do something because you “say so.”
I remember how this would drive me dilly hearing this as a child.
I make an effort to provide explanations and discuss anything they want clarity on.
They want and deserve explanations as much as adults do.
If we don’t take time to explain, kids will begin to question our values and motives and whether they have any basis.
When you reason with them, you are allowing them space to understand and learn in a nonjudgmental way.
Be very clear with your expectations — if there’s an issue, describe it, express your feelings, and invite your child to work on a solution with you.
Make sure to include consequences and offer choices.
Be open to your child’s suggestions as well. Negotiate with them, it’s important to listen to what they have to say.
Kids who participate in decisions are more motivated to carry them out.
Read my article ‘How to Cultivate an Attitude of Gratitude: For Mums Who Want To Feel Good’ here.
6. Reflect On Your Own Childhood
I found it to be super helpful for me to think about my own childhood and what I liked and didn’t like about my upbringing.
You’ll find that there’s often some aspects you would change. Make note of things you’d like to change and think of how you’d do it differently in a real scenario.
Try to be mindful and make an effort to change your behaviour the next time those issues come up.
This may not go so well the first time but don’t give up. It takes doing something over and over again to consciously change one’s child upbringing methods.
7. Pay Attention To Your Own Well-being
You can’t pour from an empty cup, so making time for yourself has to also be a priority (as hard as that is to make time for).
I find that I am a much better mum when I have had my time to workout or do something for myself that day, even if it was only for 5 minutes.
It can be so easy to put your health or the health of your marriage on the back burner when you have kids, but this is the last thing that should happen.
How you take care of yourself physically and mentally will make the biggest difference in your parenting. If these two areas fail, your child will suffer, too.
8. Boost Your Child’s Self-Esteem
As I mentioned earlier, children are like sponges, your words and actions as a parent affect their developing self-esteem more than anything else.
Praising achievements, however small or big, will make them feel proud; letting them do things independently will make them feel capable and strong.
Belittling comments or comparing a child negatively with another will make them feel worthless.
Avoid making any loaded statements or using words as weapons.
Comments like “What a stupid thing to do!” causes immense damage just as physical blows do.
Your word is your wand, so choose them carefully and be kind.
It’s important to let your children know that everyone makes mistakes and that no matter what you will still love them, even when you don’t love their behaviour.
9. Make Time for Your Kids
Quality time is a big one in our household. We make sure that we sit down to eat most meals together and we often have one night a week where we do something special together.
If you have a busy schedule as I do, allocate this time in your calendar so that you never miss a day.
With my teens, I find attending concerts, games, and other events with them shows that I care and lets me get to know more about them and their friends in important ways.
You’ll find that kids may start to act out or misbehave if they feel they’re getting enough attention from you.
We’re All Learning Together
Being a parent really is a never-ending journey of discovery, both of yourself and your children.
It’s okay to make mistakes and then learn from them.
This is a continuous process of unlearning and learning so we can be better for our children which will allow them to be better for theirs.
I hope you found some value in my insight into parenthood and that it was able to serve you in some small way.
Please feel free to share any of your parenting tips with me in the comments below and ask me any questions.
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With love,
Nat
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